1. Finish the 2015/2016 season in 10th place after firing the manager who won the league for your team the year prior and hiring an interim manager to hobble your squad over the line.
2. Fire your interim manager and appoint Antonio Conte, the manager of the Italian national team.
3. Bring in N’golo Kante, adding a dynamic defensive presence at the heart of your midfield.
4. Win the premier league the following season as your team completes a heroic heel-turn from 10th place finishers to champions.
5. Have your manager text your star striker “Thanks for the seasono” and ship him off to Atletico Madrid.
6. Sign Danny Drinkwater.
7. Use a severely crippled squad in a European and Domestic campaign where you are outgunned by a Manchester City side that spent over $150 million on fullbacks alone in the previous transfer window.
8. Get knocked out of the Champions League by Barcelona.
9. Finish 5th in the Premier League, losing 3-0 to Newcastle on the final day of the season.
10. Beat Manchester United in the FA Cup, winning your club’s second trophy in two years.
11. Wait a month or so before firing Antonio Conte.
12. Fire Antonio Conte.
13. Announce the signing of Napoli manager Maurizio Sarri.
14. Proclaim a tactical and philosophical revolution will take place at the club under your new manager and bring in a critical midfielder, Jorginho, to serve as the conductor of the new operation.
15. Wait for the World Cup to finish and your star players to get back from vacation before beginning the preseason.
16. Give your manager less than two weeks before the season starts to implement his revolutionary philosophy.
17. Watch as Manchester City and Liverpool bolster their already dynamic squads with multi-million dollar signings of critical players at key positions.
18. Get trounced in the Community shield by a far superior Manchester City side.
19. Against all odds, go on an impressive 19 game unbeaten run to start the season in which you even take first in the table for a week.
20. Beat Manchester City 2-0 at home.
21. Get embarrassed by Spurs at Wembley losing 3-0.
22. Watch your grip on the top three slip away as Manchester City and Liverpool duke it out for the title.
23. Struggle to a 0-0 draw a day before Manchester City play Liverpool in the decisive match of the Premier League season.
24. Loan out your first choice striker, Alvaro Morata, to Atletico Madrid in hopes that he shakes his depression and finds happiness in his life.
25. Sign Gonzalo Higuaín on loan, guaranteeing his success based upon one good year he had under your manager four seasons ago.
26. Lose 4-0 to Bournemouth.
27. Lose 6-0 to Manchester City.
28. Make the final of the League Cup.
29. Lose the final of the League Cup after your goalkeeper performs a mutiny on the pitch, your captain stands quietly on the sidelines, and your manager nearly quits the job on the spot.
30. Lose 2-0 away to Everton.
31. Lose 2-0 away to Liverpool.
32. Watch Manchester United, Arsenal, and Tottenham pour gasoline on themselves and light a match, setting themselves on fire for the last month of the season.
33. Slowly walk past these chaotic clubs as you quietly slip into 3rd place in the league thinking for a brief second that your season has not been all that bad.
34. Watch Manchester City edge Liverpool as Premier League Champions, finishing an incredible title race between two teams that finished with 25 and 26 more points than you.
35. Draw 0-0 with Leicester City on the final day of the season.
36. Watch your two brightest youth players go down with yearlong achilleas injuries, serving as a metaphor for your season from hell.
37. Thank god for ending this relentlessly painful season.
38. Remember you are in the final of the Europa League.
39. a. Win the Europa League.
39.b. Lose the Europa League.
40. Send your best player, Eden Hazard, to Real Madrid for $100 million.
41. Sack Maurizio Sarri.