Everything Wrong with Rolling Stone's Top 100 Albums List (20-11)

Everything Wrong with Rolling Stone's Top 100 Albums List (20-11)

We’re getting close people. As the list winds down to its final picks, the Rolling Stone writers save some time for Michael Jackson, Van Morrison, and Miles Davis. What an amazing super group these three would make! Right? They also give time to Dylan, Springsteen, and The Velvet Underground. This section of the list has some truly amazing albums and some… less amazing ones. Check out the correct takes on each pick below.

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Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stones Top 100 Albums (30-21)

Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stones Top 100 Albums (30-21)

Rumours just may be the greatest album on this entire list. There is a reason why Rumours became the fastest selling LP of all time, shifting 800,000 copies a week following its release. There’s a reason why Rumours became a symbol of the mid-‘70s, cocaine-fueled, California dreams of a generation. There’s a reason why Rumours plays like an immaculately polished fallout of the chaotic ‘70s and the tense difficulties lying right around the corner. When Fleetwood Mac released Rumours after a year of production and a few kilos of cocaine, there was no knowledge of AIDS, drugs were no longer a hippie trademark, but a recreation for the masses and the punk movement was sticking its head out from under the rug. Rumours twisted a tight cap on the past two decades, preserving the prosperous aspirations and hedonistic indulgences of this generation while maintaining a thread of desperation and darkness beneath the surface.

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How to Sack Your Manager in 41 Steps (With Pictures)

How to Sack Your Manager in 41 Steps (With Pictures)

1.    Finish the 2015/2016 season in 10th place after firing the manager who won the league for your team the year prior and hiring an interim manager to hobble your squad over the line. 

2.    Fire your interim manager and appoint Antonio Conte, the manager of the Italian national team. 

3.    Bring in N’golo Kante, adding a dynamic defensive presence at the heart of your midfield. 

4.    Win the premier league the following season as your team completes a heroic heel-turn from 10thplace finishers to champions. 

5.    Have your manager text your star striker “Thanks for the seasono” and ship him off to Atletico Madrid. 

6.    Sign Danny Drinkwater. 

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Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stones Top 100 Albums (40-31)

Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stones Top 100 Albums (40-31)

“Starman” stands as the most celebrated track off of the album for its sheer spectacle and range of emotion. Following David Bowie’s death, however, the song shouldered the burden of Bowie’s indefinable legacy. Throughout his career, Bowie replicated the power of his alien alter ego, Ziggy. Through the energy and emotion of his music, Bowie allowed a generation of children from ages ten to seventy-five mature as characters in his songs. “Let the children lose it/ Let all the children boogie,” he proclaimed. There really is “a starman waiting in the sky,” and his name is David Bowie.  

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Antoine Griezmann Announces Atlético Madrid Departure, Presents Final Piece of Barcelona's Overdue Rebuild

Antoine Griezmann Announces Atlético Madrid Departure, Presents Final Piece of Barcelona's Overdue Rebuild

Earlier today, Antoine Griezmann announced that he will be leaving Atletico Madrid this summer. In the past five seasons, the French forward has developed into one of the deadliest attacking forces in Europe. Shortly after his announcement, rumors of his move to Barcelona began to swirl around twitter and across the headlines of football sites throughout Europe. 

Most importantly, however, Griezmann has the potential to complete Barcelona’s rebuilding process. The club’s zealous commitment to Messi has seen them amass numerous trophies in past seasons, but they can procrastinate no longer. Messi needs help, desperately. With de Jong secured and de Ligt on the way, Griezmann will complete the lethal spine that Barcelona fans will enjoy for the next decade. 

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Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stones Top 100 Albums (50-41)

Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stones Top 100 Albums (50-41)

We've reached halfway. The question that presents itself in the next fifty albums follows this general trend: does the album's historical significance necessitate its position high on this list of greatest albums. With Here's Little Richard this question must be confronted. The thing is, Here's Little Richard presented rock n' roll to the United States in a barnstorming fashion. Little Richard's debut album contained his chart-topping hits like "Long Tall Sally" and "Jenny, Jenny." Listen, these are not songs I would ever listen to again. Not many people would. 

But they're important. Right? So, what do we do? Well, I'll start by pointing out that Here's Little Richard holds up far more than Elvis' Elvis Presley – the debut album from the king. So, let's give Li'l Rich some credit for jiving his way into the hearts of millions of Americans. Throughout rock n' roll, soul, and funk, there persists a trend of iconic musicians who have defined their era. Little Richard is one of the firsts – also, you can't fault the man's style, that mustache hasn't aged a day. 

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Premier League Predictions: Super Sunday

Premier League Predictions: Super Sunday

Wolves 1-2 Liverpool

In the second most significant match of super Sunday, Liverpool must be on their game if they hope to keep their chances of winning their first Premier League title alive. Liverpool has had a truly incredible season that deserves at least one trophy. That may come in the form of the Champions League or the Premier League or they may leave for the summer empty-handed. The final possibility is improbable given the unrelenting quality of this unique squad that has spurred them to countless last-minute goals and inspiring comebacks. Liverpool will be boosted by the return of Salah to the lineup who will make up for any tired legs following the Reds remarkable comeback against Barcelona from last Tuesday. 

The Portuguese National team, sorry, Wolverhampton Wanderers, pose a tough final match. Wolves have an impressive record against the top 6, securing at least a draw or a win against every single side they have faced in the Premier League besides Liverpool – the club they knocked out of the FA Cup. Neves, Jota, Jimenez, Dendoncker, and Moutinho are all players of extremely high quality and fitness who will relish one final opportunity to stick it to the top six. Wolves have produced a remarkable campaign for their first season back in the Premier League and will be finishing this weekend as competitors in next year’s Europa League having officially secured 7th place. 

Once again, Liverpool’s quality will overcome their opponents. Don’t be surprised, however, when Wolves spring a surprising counter-attack through Neves and Jota that results in a goal. Even if they do find the net, Liverpool will score more. Nothing will stop this Liverpool side from finishing the season with a win and, quite possibly, a Premier League trophy.

Manchester City 3-0 Brighton

When Vincent Kompany scored a pile driver of a goal against Leicester last weekend, rumor has it that Manchester City fans could hear shouts of exasperation ringing out all the way from Liverpool. It will take a momentous effort to stop Pep’s robots from savagely hoisting their second straight Premier League trophy this weekend. Unfortunately, Brighton is the team standing in their way. 

Having recently secured safety in the League, Brighton has little more to play for than their pride which, if you weren’t aware, doesn’t run very high in the land of Brighton.

But, hey, nothing is impossible! Maybe Chris Hughton’s men can pull off the most stunning result of the season and scramble a draw from the City machine. Right? 

No. No, they cannot. 

Congratulations, Manchester City. Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present your 2018-2019 Premier League Champions. Ugh. 

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Tottenham Stun Ajax with Phenomenal Comeback, Punch Their Ticket to the Club's First European Cup

Tottenham Stun Ajax with Phenomenal Comeback, Punch Their Ticket to the Club's First European Cup

When Lucas Moura scored the winning goal in the 95th minute of an exhausting, torturous, backward, upside down match, the Johan Cruyff Arena in Amsterdam stood still in paralyzing shock. Apart from the Tottenham trainers, substitutes, coaches, and reserves streaming onto the field to celebrate, the stadium resembled a massacre of significant proportions. Ajax players threw themselves onto the ground with their faces covered and shots of grown men in tears emerged from among the extensive Ajax support. Inexplicably, Spurs had produced one of those rare sports moments in which every fan is reminded of the glory and brutality of these arbitrary competitions that still manage to control our souls like sadistic puppeteers. 

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What The Hell Just Happened?

What The Hell Just Happened?

Liverpool just completed one of the greatest comebacks in the history of the Champions League. After their humiliating 3-0 defeat to Barcelona at the Camp Nou last Wednesday, nobody – not a single person – gave them a chance in the second leg. Not only were they down on goal difference, Liverpool recently lost their leading goal scorer Mohammed Salah following a head injury against Newcastle over the weekend and would remain without the creative engine within their attack, Roberto Firmino. Liverpool should not have won this game. But they did.

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Hillsborough Across Form: An Essay on The Alternative Tactics of Historical Reference

Hillsborough Across Form: An Essay on The Alternative Tactics of Historical Reference

Hillsborough Across Form is an essay I recently wrote for a history class at my university. The task was to research the different forms of history that recount an iconic event. Seeing an opportunity, I decided to choose Hillsborough as, along with being a fascinating and tragic event, it would provide an opportunity to take a detailed look at one of football’s defining moments.

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Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stone Top 100 Albums List (60-51)

Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stone Top 100 Albums List (60-51)

Rolling Stone Magazine is an insane publication. Not only do they repeatedly place compilations in their picks for the greatest albums of all time, but when they get around to choosing records, they waste them on bands like The Beatles. Yes. I said it. This edition of Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stone Top 100 Albums List details what they got right and what they got wrong about their picks from places 60 to 51. Is Jimi Hendrix really that good? Is Al Green the greatest soul singer of his generation? Is Stevie Wonder better than Ray Charles? Find out the answers to those questions and more in the article below.

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The Bizarre, Incredible, and Unsuccessful Kidnapping of Alfredo Di Stefano

The Bizarre, Incredible, and Unsuccessful Kidnapping of Alfredo Di Stefano

Sports and politics are inseparable. Throughout the 20th and 21st centuries, tracks, fields, and courts have hosted numerous protests, rebellions, and tragedies. Whether pursuing social change or political revolution, athletes and politicians consistently use glorified recreation as the rallying cry for their ideas and beliefs. One must briefly flick through a season of 30 for 30 to appreciate that more sporting controversies and scandals are rooted beyond the pillars of administrative buildings, deep in the halls of judicial and legislative systems. The defining moments of this intense relationship include horrifying tragedies like the Israeli hostage massacre at the 1972 Munich Olympics and groundbreaking moments of social progress such as Jackie Robinson’s debut for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Buried deep in the intersection of politics and sports, however, lies a select group of events that transcend the momentousness of such instances - events like the kidnapping of Alfredo di Stefano on the night of August 24th, 1963.

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Luka Jovic Is Football's Next Great Center Forward

Luka Jovic Is Football's Next Great Center Forward

Luka Jovic is the next great center forward. Though Mbappe and Rashford will steal headlines as the future flair players that will bomb down the wings for club and country, neither prospect has a foreseeable future as a reliable number 9. Yes, they are remarkable talents, but their specialties do not fit the center forward position that demands pure finishing ability, a physical presence, and intelligent positioning. Leave flair and panache to the wing players, Luka Jovic will put the ball into the back of the net. Jovic ticks all the boxes of a complete forward. He is intelligent, quick, and clinical. These attributes have seen him draw attention from Manchester City, Chelsea, Bayern Munich, and Barcelona who have been linked with $100 million bids for the Serbian.

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MLS Announces Expansion to 30 Teams, Sinks Further into Delusion

MLS Announces Expansion to 30 Teams, Sinks Further into Delusion

Last Friday, Don Garber’s Major League Soccer announced that three teams will have the opportunity to join America’s fastest growing “sport of the future” since 1978. Three cities will be chosen as the 28th, 29th, and 30th members of a league that already has nearly a third more teams than all of its comparable leagues from around the world. Garber announced the franchise fee for purchasing a new MLS club at the measly price of $200 million (unless of course, your name is David Beckham and in 2014 you exercised a provision of your MLS contract that allows you to get a $40 million discount on an expansion team – yes that actually happened).

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Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stone Top 100 Albums List (90-81)

Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stone Top 100 Albums List (90-81)

In more than 50 years of Rolling Stone, the magazine has raised its hand as the first authority in rock music. This authority, that was granted by… no one, really… has led to scathing reviews of such albums as Led Zeppelin’s ‘Led Zeppelin,’ The Rolling Stones’ ‘Exile on Main Street,’ Bob Dylan’s ‘Blood on the Tracks,’ and Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind.’ 

These horrible takes, the needless feuds between owner Jann Wenner and the bands he wishes he was a part of, and the magazine’s struggle to stay in the current of pop culture, has granted Rolling Stone an awkwardly tenuous relationship with its readers. Regardless of this division, the magazine remains determined to proclaim the greatest 500 songs, artists, and albums. Did they contribute to these artistic endeavors? No. Must they rank them as though God tasked them to do so as a divine mission? Yes. 

The following series of articles will dissect Rolling Stone Magazine’s “Top 100 Albums” rankings. I could have broken down the “Top 500,” but I think I’d be too depressed to continue after seeing Nas’ ‘Illmatic’ – an album that is widely regarded as the greatest hip-hop album of all time – in position 402. Adding insult to insanity, Nas’ ‘Illmatic’ at least made it further than the disgraceful selections of Wilco’s ‘Yankee Hotel Foxtrot’ in 493rd place and Funkadelic’s ‘Maggot Brain’ in 479th. 

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