The USMNT is a National Embarrassment and No One Seems to Care

The USMNT is a National Embarrassment and No One Seems to Care

The United States Men’s National Team’s loss against Canada was the worst performance from a US National Team that I have ever witnessed. With no poor conditions or aging players to blame, the USMNT looked lost – unable to accuse someone else as the cause of their failures as they have done repeatedly in the last six years. Almost two years after that loss to Trinidad and Tobago – the loss that banished the US from the 2018 World Cup – Gregg Berhalter revealed that not a thing has changed. Two years after the match that was optimistically called a “wake up call” – the USMNT team reminded us all that they could not care less. 

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'Joker' Deserves Your Attention and Will Succeed in Capturing It

'Joker' Deserves Your Attention and Will Succeed in Capturing It

Here's a list of things I didn't do after watching Joker:

1. Buy a gun.

2. Commit a mass shooting.

3. Dress up like a clown and bring a .35 to a Children's hospital.

I know - you are shocked. How could this be? After all, isn't Joker's purpose of glorifying the violence of deranged and disaffected weak men? Unless you're a CNN correspondent or the Opinions editor of the New York Times, you'd have to be mentally handicapped yourself to believe such myths. Unfortunately, many media outlets have been parroting versions of this "movie equals violence" myth since DC announced the film in early 2019.

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Tottenham and Pochettino Have Reached the End of the Line, From Here Only Darkness Awaits

Tottenham and Pochettino Have Reached the End of the Line, From Here Only Darkness Awaits

On October 1st, 2019, the Germans invaded England and massacred eleven men in north London. By the time the carnage had ended, the club once known as Tottenham Hotspur had ceased to exist, Mauricio Pochettino was bidding on houses in Madrid and Manchester, and Bayern Munich was celebrating a 7-2 trouncing of last year's Champions League Runners Up. In front of their own fans, playing in a brand new stadium, Tottenham took out a musket, rammed gunpowder into the chamber, slid a bullet down the barrel, and shot themselves in the foot.

I imagine this is what the football history textbooks will read in a few decades.

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Cristian Pulisic Deserves Your Time

Cristian Pulisic Deserves Your Time

For the fourth time in five games, Cristian Pulisic did not take the field for Chelsea. Though Chelsea ended their match with a comfortable 2-0 win against a stingy Brighton, much of the post-match attention was directed at the lonely American sitting on the sidelines. Even though Pulisic has been with the club for barely three months, the American’s lack of playing time spurned numerous questions about his future as a blue. How come Cristian Pulisic, the jersey-selling, franchise-broadcasting, Dortmund-bred starlet continues to struggle to receive minutes in Chelsea’s first team? Should Chelsea supporters, American Soccer fans, and Pulisic himself be worried about this recent development? Is Cristian Pulisic’s time at Chelsea doomed from here on out?

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VAR is Sucking the Soul Out of the Premier League

VAR is Sucking the Soul Out of the Premier League

It's an unoriginal premise I know, but it must be stated for yet another time: VAR is ruining football. The reason we all tune in every day to watch this great sport is for moments of spontaneous brilliance. Imagine the great goals in history, having dulled celebrations as fans waited for the VAR check. Would fans at the Etihad have to wait to celebrate Aguero's 97th-minute winner? What about Sergi Roberto scoring Barcelona's final goal in a 6 goal comeback against PSG? Would the Barca players wait on the field to celebrate the goal rather than dive into the exasperated arms of the Camp Nou supporters? Restricting emotion removes an impetus for supporters to turn on the television or go to a match. With VAR hanging like the sword of Damocles over every goal, the brilliance of live football is torn from the sport's heart and thrown into the bin.

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An Immediate Reaction to Watching "Stalker" (AKA What the Hell was That?)

An Immediate Reaction to Watching "Stalker" (AKA What the Hell was That?)

Tonight I set out to watch all two hours and forty minutes of Andrei Tarkovsky’s 1979 masterpiece, Stalker. Though my interest in this film has been building over the last few months, my decision to view the movie tonight was an immediate one. When it comes to watching old foreign films, I always feel that I need a pep talk, the needle from Pulp Fiction and eight espressos before sitting down to watch. For whatever, reason, my concentration and focus seemed up to those standards tonight, so I pulled the trigger. I inserted the DVD, pressed play on the remote, and sunk into the couch. And thank God I did. 

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A Quick Briefing

A Quick Briefing

“LT. Hicox, at this point I’d like to brief you on operation Kino… Basically we have all our rotten eggs in one basket. The objective of Operation Kino - blow up the basket.”

- General Fenech, Inglorious Basterds

Not much of an article today so much as an update on the current progress of the blog/channel/whatever the hell you are looking at. Currently, I have a month left until I return to school in the last days of September and I wanted to keep the site updated as I may not have an article or video coming out later this week. I thought I’d write this not only as a way to update the site but also as a way to publicly state my objectives in the hopes that I can use shame as a motivator for achieving them. Is that healthy? Let’s find out!

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The Momentary Brilliance of Meaningless Football

The Momentary Brilliance of Meaningless Football

On June 8th, 1997, the most grotesque, embarrassing, headache beaming, shin splintering, lung pumping, mind-bending, dream arousing, and utterly meaningless football match took place. The 3-3 draw between Italy and Brazil erased both nations footballing heritage they had spent a century constructing. Beaming trophy cases, era-defining footballers, and game revolutionizing tactics did not influence the outcome between these pillars of International football. The match played out like the final round Rocky’s first bout with Apollo Creed. Under the lights of the Stade de Gerland in Lyon, two heavyweights stumbled across the mat on blood-filled legs, swinging their gloves blindly in pursuit of a completely fabricated prize. 

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Bonnaroo 2019: The Good, The Bad, and the Pregnant Hippies

Bonnaroo 2019: The Good, The Bad, and the Pregnant Hippies

Bonnaroo has always held a spot on my bucket list right above getting my appendix removed and right below being first in line in Pamplona for the running of the bulls. Though I live only an hour away from Bonnaroo’s home of Manchester, Tennessee, I have never been desperate to make the pilgrimage from Nashville to one of the country’s largest, most greatly attended music festivals. For me, attending concerts has always revolved around the musician and the musician alone. When I got the chance to see Noel Gallagher in early 2018 or attend a private JME concert in London in 2016, the circumstances were utterly irrelevant. What mattered was the band, the stage, the music, and my presence as just another head in the audience. But Bonnaroo is another beast entirely. From various Instagram feeds and Facebook updates, I have determined over the years that the festival is a place to listen to music, camp in your drunken, sweaty filth, and, most importantly, be seen. So, in early January, when some of my friends from High School decided we should all make the pilgrimage, it’s fair to say I was unsure of what I was getting myself into. After purchasing the ticket, I studied the lineup more carefully and researched the scale of the festival. 80,000 people would be filing into a few square miles of field to eat, drink, camp, and listen to music. Regardless of my experience, I knew I would – if only for a weekend – be 1/80,000th of one of this country’s strangest, yet highly praised annual events.

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A Brief Ranking: Every Kanye West Album from Worst to Best

A Brief Ranking: Every Kanye West Album from Worst to Best

In the past three decades, Kanye West has without question evolved into the most controversial, dynamic, and unpredictable musician in pop culture. Constant criticism from the media, personal loss, and visits to the hospital to fix a broken jaw and a bipolar diagnosis have not halted this icon for a second. Kanye West remains the musician who raises my heart rate the most whenever I see an interview with him recommended on my timeline or I see yet another rumor of his upcoming Yandhi album on twitter. Below is a brief ranking of every Kanye West album since he threw on his pink polo and burst onto the scene in 2004. A more detailed ranking will follow in podcast form soon.

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