VAR is Sucking the Soul Out of the Premier League

VAR is Sucking the Soul Out of the Premier League

It's an unoriginal premise I know, but it must be stated for yet another time: VAR is ruining football. The reason we all tune in every day to watch this great sport is for moments of spontaneous brilliance. Imagine the great goals in history, having dulled celebrations as fans waited for the VAR check. Would fans at the Etihad have to wait to celebrate Aguero's 97th-minute winner? What about Sergi Roberto scoring Barcelona's final goal in a 6 goal comeback against PSG? Would the Barca players wait on the field to celebrate the goal rather than dive into the exasperated arms of the Camp Nou supporters? Restricting emotion removes an impetus for supporters to turn on the television or go to a match. With VAR hanging like the sword of Damocles over every goal, the brilliance of live football is torn from the sport's heart and thrown into the bin.

Read More

An Immediate Reaction to Watching "Stalker" (AKA What the Hell was That?)

An Immediate Reaction to Watching "Stalker" (AKA What the Hell was That?)

Tonight I set out to watch all two hours and forty minutes of Andrei Tarkovsky’s 1979 masterpiece, Stalker. Though my interest in this film has been building over the last few months, my decision to view the movie tonight was an immediate one. When it comes to watching old foreign films, I always feel that I need a pep talk, the needle from Pulp Fiction and eight espressos before sitting down to watch. For whatever, reason, my concentration and focus seemed up to those standards tonight, so I pulled the trigger. I inserted the DVD, pressed play on the remote, and sunk into the couch. And thank God I did. 

Read More

A Quick Briefing

A Quick Briefing

“LT. Hicox, at this point I’d like to brief you on operation Kino… Basically we have all our rotten eggs in one basket. The objective of Operation Kino - blow up the basket.”

- General Fenech, Inglorious Basterds

Not much of an article today so much as an update on the current progress of the blog/channel/whatever the hell you are looking at. Currently, I have a month left until I return to school in the last days of September and I wanted to keep the site updated as I may not have an article or video coming out later this week. I thought I’d write this not only as a way to update the site but also as a way to publicly state my objectives in the hopes that I can use shame as a motivator for achieving them. Is that healthy? Let’s find out!

Read More

The Momentary Brilliance of Meaningless Football

The Momentary Brilliance of Meaningless Football

On June 8th, 1997, the most grotesque, embarrassing, headache beaming, shin splintering, lung pumping, mind-bending, dream arousing, and utterly meaningless football match took place. The 3-3 draw between Italy and Brazil erased both nations footballing heritage they had spent a century constructing. Beaming trophy cases, era-defining footballers, and game revolutionizing tactics did not influence the outcome between these pillars of International football. The match played out like the final round Rocky’s first bout with Apollo Creed. Under the lights of the Stade de Gerland in Lyon, two heavyweights stumbled across the mat on blood-filled legs, swinging their gloves blindly in pursuit of a completely fabricated prize. 

Read More

Bonnaroo 2019: The Good, The Bad, and the Pregnant Hippies

Bonnaroo 2019: The Good, The Bad, and the Pregnant Hippies

Bonnaroo has always held a spot on my bucket list right above getting my appendix removed and right below being first in line in Pamplona for the running of the bulls. Though I live only an hour away from Bonnaroo’s home of Manchester, Tennessee, I have never been desperate to make the pilgrimage from Nashville to one of the country’s largest, most greatly attended music festivals. For me, attending concerts has always revolved around the musician and the musician alone. When I got the chance to see Noel Gallagher in early 2018 or attend a private JME concert in London in 2016, the circumstances were utterly irrelevant. What mattered was the band, the stage, the music, and my presence as just another head in the audience. But Bonnaroo is another beast entirely. From various Instagram feeds and Facebook updates, I have determined over the years that the festival is a place to listen to music, camp in your drunken, sweaty filth, and, most importantly, be seen. So, in early January, when some of my friends from High School decided we should all make the pilgrimage, it’s fair to say I was unsure of what I was getting myself into. After purchasing the ticket, I studied the lineup more carefully and researched the scale of the festival. 80,000 people would be filing into a few square miles of field to eat, drink, camp, and listen to music. Regardless of my experience, I knew I would – if only for a weekend – be 1/80,000th of one of this country’s strangest, yet highly praised annual events.

Read More

A Brief Ranking: Every Kanye West Album from Worst to Best

A Brief Ranking: Every Kanye West Album from Worst to Best

In the past three decades, Kanye West has without question evolved into the most controversial, dynamic, and unpredictable musician in pop culture. Constant criticism from the media, personal loss, and visits to the hospital to fix a broken jaw and a bipolar diagnosis have not halted this icon for a second. Kanye West remains the musician who raises my heart rate the most whenever I see an interview with him recommended on my timeline or I see yet another rumor of his upcoming Yandhi album on twitter. Below is a brief ranking of every Kanye West album since he threw on his pink polo and burst onto the scene in 2004. A more detailed ranking will follow in podcast form soon.

Read More

Everything Wrong with Rolling Stone's Top 100 Albums List (10-1)

Everything Wrong with Rolling Stone's Top 100 Albums List (10-1)

Excerpt from the London Calling review: In my opinion, London Calling is the greatest album on this list and therefore the greatest album of all time. This is not a punk album. This is not a reggae fusion album. This is a true rock album filled with momentary musical brilliance, genre shifts within songs, and enough passion and energy to start a war. For a band who hired their bass player for how he looked – completely disregarding the fact that he could barely strum his instrument – The Clash produced an authentic piece of artistic brilliance with London Calling

The genius of Strummer, Jones, Headon, and Simonon is revealed by the sheer scope of the genres with which they bend throughout the album. Though billed as a punk classic, London Calling is anything but. Songs like "Lost in the Supermarket" and "Train in Vain" are classic love songs of loss, confusion, despair, and longing. Each track is delivered with clean, quick, percussive backing to emphasize the earnest message of the band. Though they wore mohawks and spray painted jackets, both of these songs reveal the soft side of a group who, just like the rest of us, wanted to find comfort in the arms of fellow human beings amongst the confusion and torment of the era

Read More

Everything Wrong with Rolling Stone's Top 100 Albums List (20-11)

Everything Wrong with Rolling Stone's Top 100 Albums List (20-11)

We’re getting close people. As the list winds down to its final picks, the Rolling Stone writers save some time for Michael Jackson, Van Morrison, and Miles Davis. What an amazing super group these three would make! Right? They also give time to Dylan, Springsteen, and The Velvet Underground. This section of the list has some truly amazing albums and some… less amazing ones. Check out the correct takes on each pick below.

Read More

Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stones Top 100 Albums (30-21)

Everything Wrong with the Rolling Stones Top 100 Albums (30-21)

Rumours just may be the greatest album on this entire list. There is a reason why Rumours became the fastest selling LP of all time, shifting 800,000 copies a week following its release. There’s a reason why Rumours became a symbol of the mid-‘70s, cocaine-fueled, California dreams of a generation. There’s a reason why Rumours plays like an immaculately polished fallout of the chaotic ‘70s and the tense difficulties lying right around the corner. When Fleetwood Mac released Rumours after a year of production and a few kilos of cocaine, there was no knowledge of AIDS, drugs were no longer a hippie trademark, but a recreation for the masses and the punk movement was sticking its head out from under the rug. Rumours twisted a tight cap on the past two decades, preserving the prosperous aspirations and hedonistic indulgences of this generation while maintaining a thread of desperation and darkness beneath the surface.

Read More

How to Sack Your Manager in 41 Steps (With Pictures)

How to Sack Your Manager in 41 Steps (With Pictures)

1.    Finish the 2015/2016 season in 10th place after firing the manager who won the league for your team the year prior and hiring an interim manager to hobble your squad over the line. 

2.    Fire your interim manager and appoint Antonio Conte, the manager of the Italian national team. 

3.    Bring in N’golo Kante, adding a dynamic defensive presence at the heart of your midfield. 

4.    Win the premier league the following season as your team completes a heroic heel-turn from 10thplace finishers to champions. 

5.    Have your manager text your star striker “Thanks for the seasono” and ship him off to Atletico Madrid. 

6.    Sign Danny Drinkwater. 

Read More